Lucha Jack: Legacy

[cosbydaf]

Posted: Aug 17 2012

issue 1 the awesomeifier box

Lucha jack: okay godzilla this is the awesomifier box. it was custom made for me by form dr tromneta.
anyone who goes inside it wil become 50 times more awesome but don't use it because it can only be usd once an i only have one.



lucha jack; now i must go run an errand
don't use the box ok














*a few hours later*

lcuha jack: okay im back where are you godzilla









lucha jack; godzilla you mothefuekr i am gonna to kick yuor as




lucha jack: ow

[cosbydaf]

Posted: Aug 18 2012

issue 2 beating the jike



lucha jack: hey

lucha jane: hi

lucha jack: wanna fuck

lucha jane: no



lucha jack; welp i guess its time for a other loenly night of beating the jike




*typety typety type*









lucha jack: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm wibble

[cosbydaf]

Posted: Aug 19 2012

issue 3 scuide

(wanring this comic deals with adult isues)



lucha jack: Here i am at the lake. time to dorwn myslef and end my misreable life.



lucha jack: shit i forgot that i automatcaly lucha float
gues i beter turn over



lucha jack: glub glub glub



el gringo: what are you doing in there jack?

lucha jack: glub*im trying to drown myslef gingo now go away*glub



el gringo: no way man i'm taking you to doctor tormenta

lucha jack: godmot let me go



dr tormenta: What seems to be the problem gentlemen?

el gringo: my pal lucha jack here was trying to drown himslef in the lake.

lucha jack: *sigh* gringo how could you bertray me like this

dr tormenta: Oh dear. Well I don't have any apointments at the moment so let's do something about this now.




Dr tormenta: Why were you trying to drown yourself jack?

lucha jack: gmgmgmhm

Dr tormenta: I cant help you if you won't talk to me



lucha jack: mayeb i dint want to tlak ok?! if gringno hadnt draged me here there woludnts be a probem. gringo you cnt i thought you where my firend-



lucha jack: baugh rhaugh

dr tormenta: Gringo it might be best if you wait outside

el gringo: yeah sure



lucha jack: fucking gringo how dare he

dr tormenta: he was just concerned about you jack. Besides we're here to talk about you not him.

lucha jack: what's there to tlak about

dr tormenta: i want to know why you feel so bad

lucha jack: alright fine if it will shut you up



lucha jack: it all started when i was just a little bo---

*flashback*

[cosbydaf]

Posted: Aug 19 2012

issue 3 continued



lucha jack: dad i want to go to the park




dr caligari: we're not going to the park today i don't feel like it.



lucha jack: dad im sick of being lide to. you promised youd take me to the park today i hate you!



dr caligari: you little shit how dare you talk to your father like that! im gonan discipline you!!@

lucha jack: no dad no



lucha jack: and thats why im mad. I feel like my whole life is just one big jike

dr tormenta: i see. Have you try to reconcile with your father?



lucha jack: RAAAARGH *flips over bed*

dr tormenta: stop it jack! these outbursts arent helping anyone!



lucha jack: fuck you dr tomato! im done with this shti!

[cosbydaf]

Posted: Aug 19 2012

issue 3 final



lcuah jack: here i am at the forest. surely if i wander around i will be killed by something like a dinosaur or a blare witch



lucha jack: i forgot how damn big everthing out here was. wait i herad a nosie



xolta: hi im xolta howre you

lucha jack: what the fuck



xolta: i wonder waht a luchador taste like



xolta: mmmmm

lucha jack; agh get of you shitstain



lucha jack: fcuk this im going back



lucha jack: hi guys

dr tormenta: hello jack. are you feeling any better?

lucha jack: not really but i made a new friend or something. say hi to xolta

xolta: more luchadors



xolta: mmmmmmmmmmm

lucha jack: get of him for fcuks sake

*issue 3 end*

[cosbydaf]

Posted: Aug 20 2012

issue 4 rescue



lucha jack: how is everone

everone: Ah, if it isn't my favorite luchador. i'm doing quite well. i need to you to perform a task for me

lucha jack: what is it?



everone: That scum Enemigo has kidnapped Sonic the hedgehog. he's trying to get him to tell the location of the formula.

lucha jack: So my old enema is still alive

everone: Indeed he is.

lucha jack: okay so i will go save sonic. when do i get paid

everone: as soon as you bring Sonic back to me.

lucha jack: ok


*meanwhile, at Enemigo's Lair, Headquarters of N.W.E (New World Evil)*





enemigo: This is the last time I'm going to ask you. Tell me where the formula is!!




sonic: im not telling you shit till i get my hookers and cocaine!





enemigo: That's it! I've lost my patience with this little blue rat. Yeti, toss him into the Abyss!

yeti: Yes master




yeti: first im going to take out the chair because there's no reason to watse a perfectly good chair


*at THE ABYSS*



yeti: Im glad to be getting rid of you. any last words?

sonic: fucccckkkk youuuuuu

*chainsaw buzz*




lucha jack: Unhandy him you monkey basrted





Yeti: Lucha jack! I will kill you and sonic and become N.W.E's greatest warrior!

lucha jack: bring it hairbal


















Sonic: thanks

lucha jack: no problem

sonic: can you untie me

lucha jack: mayeb

[cosbydaf]

Posted: Aug 21 2012

issue 5 spider women



lucha jack: hey look it's a spider women



lucha jack: baby got trachea



lcuha jack: i gotta get in on that

but becase she a spider i have to perpare frist



lucha jack: ENGAGE SPIDER MODE



lucha jack: now im ready



lucha jack: hey there

spider women: oh my i thought i'd never find a male out here

lucha jack: well you in luck bayeb cuz i am ready to mat



lcuha jack: unfff



*CLENCH*

lucha jack: this is getting to tite



spider women: dont worry, it will be over soon!

lucha jack: what

spider women: when we're done you'll die and i'll feed you to our children!

lucha jack; AW HELL NAW



*lucha punch*



lucha jack: TIME TO ABROT THE MISSION

spider women: get back here!




lucha jack: and i think that's why i feel a bruning sensaton when i pee

el gringo: damn jack. you really need to think these things through better.

lucha jack: thinking is overated

[cosbydaf]

Posted: Aug 22 2012

issue 6 qeratia



narrator: There was once a world called Qeratia. It was much like our own except with different colors and monsters and robots and things.



It was a peaceful world until one day the devil took it over



For his own amusement he froced all Qeratia's inhabitants to fight each other in a big tournament
However won the tournament would get to fight the devil



most people who enterned died but there was one who was the hero. he had no name so we call him The Knight. he did not want power he only wanted to free his land




The Knight fought through many enemys like dragons and bugs




and wolves and robots




and dinosaurs and lobsters




and mummy street punks and harpies and spider women




until he finally duel with the Devil himslef







It was an epic battle and the Knight killed the Devil but then he was mortaly wouneded.



Because of his herosim 2 angles came down and healed him and he became the new ruler of Qeratia


.......




lucha jack: that was pretty good you guys
so what hapens next?

xolta: the knight goes into space

lucha jack: why would he do that

xolta: i dint know



el gringo: you guys i just had a weird idea

what if it turns out that we're just toys, and some higher being is using us to tell stories?



lucha jack: gringo that's silly a higher being wouldnt tell stories with toys





....OR WOULD THEY?

[cosbydaf]

Posted: Aug 22 2012

1,000 Views comic




joker:Do you know why i use a knife?

lucha jack: no, why?

joker: Guns are too quick. you can't savor all the little emotions




lucha jack: ok

do you know why i use a chainsaw

joker: why?

lucha jack: because my dad made it fro me when i became a men. I like the way it fcuks people up and the sound it makes. also it has magic powers

joker: sure it does






bane: RRAAAARRRGHHH












bane: MRFGHR FUCK EVERYTHING


...........



Thanks for reading everone!

[cosbydaf]

Posted: Aug 23 2012

issue 7 lucha jack goes on a date



lucha jack: hey jane i here for our date

lucha jane: ok im ready to go




lucha jane: Nice car. decals could use some work

lucha jack; yeah i know i just havnet had time to fix em



*at the restaurant*



Ricky: hello my name is Ricky i will be you waiter this evening. you can take your seat over here

lucha jack: thanks ricky



ricky: so what will you fine folks be having?

lucha jane: ill have the crab

lucha jack: ill have the lobster



ricky: ok ill get your order done as fast as i can! make yoursleves comfortable

.



lucha jack: so do you always sit like that



lucha jane: i slouch like this because of a back injury i had in a fight a few years ago

lucha jack: oh sorry i didnt know



Ricky: here is your order!

lucha jack: wow that was fast.



Ricky: here is your cutlery.

lucha jack: thanks



lucha jack: so how did you get started becoming a luchadora? did you grow up in a lucha town?



lucha jane: well i guess i wanted to be a luchadora since i was 10 and saw a fight in the ring for the frist time. then i took a lucha class in high school, but my mother never approved of it.



lucha jane's mother: Enough with this luchador nonsense! Take of that ridiculous costume and act like a proper lady!

lucha jane: nah



lucha jack: i never knew my mother actually

*lucha stabs lobster*

lucha jane: aw im sorry to hear that

lucha jack: i did not intned for this conversation to be so glomy

lucha jane: me niether. I like hearing about all the stuff you do jack.

lucha jack: like what?

lucha jane: like when you saved Sonic from Enemigo, that was cool. also xolta told me you tried to have sex with a spider women.

lucha jack: well you kno that xolta he likes to tlak. overativ imaginaton on him i tell sya.

lucha jane: hahaha



veninax: OMG IT'S LUUUUCHAAA JAAAACKKKKK



lucha jack: oh godmanit not now

lucha jane: what the?

veninax: hey mr lucha jack sir i was so excited for the next time we would meet and you know im your biggest fan and its so cool that we both ended up here on the same night and that lobster looks delicious can i have a taste?

lucha jack: GO AWAY OR I WILL STABE YOU IN THE EYE



veninax: ow stop pinching my neck

ricky: sorry about this rude intteruption of your meal sir. can i make it up to you with a free desert?

lucha jack: ok



lucha jack: ooooh its limeangs. not as good as orangs but it will do.


*after leaving the restaurant*



lucha jack: jane im sorry about all that. godmna veninax alwyas fcuking things up

lucha jane: don't worry about it i had fun



*lucha kiss*



lucha jack: bye lucha jane! i will tlak to you later!

lucha jane: good night jack.





lucha jack: ogm omg even though it seemed like a fialure she kised me! best date ever

[cosbydaf]

Posted: Aug 24 2012

issue 8 two face





two-face: where am i?



two-face: Batman! I should have known you'd be in on this. Where are we?

batman: I think it's called lucha-land



lucha jack 1: hi we the welcommmmmming commitee

lucha jack 2: how is everone

two-face: what the hell?!



lucha jack 2: did enemigo borke your face

lucha jack 1: if everone was a formula the whole wrold would be minmalsa

lucha jack 3: mmmmmmmmmmm i wibbled myslef

two-face: GET AWAY FROM ME!






lucha jack 3: harvey you are a meam man



*lucha reattach head*

lucha jack 2: he atticked us lets get him



lucha jacks: gane rape attack!

two-face: NOOOOO-



two-face: GAH! What a terrible dream!



lucha jack 3: it wasnot a deram ok



lucha jack 1: welcome to the negibhorhod new guy

sonic: got any cocaine?

two-face: Sigh. Well I guess it's true what they say - you either die a hero, or live long enough to end up in a lucha jack comic.



*lucha tackle*



lucha jack: Welp i guess i borke harvey dent



two-face: AGGGH!

lucha jack: no wait godzilla you cant eat him yet he not dead

godzilla: skreeonk

[cosbydaf]

[cosbydaf]

Posted: Nov 12 2012

Issue 9:

Surrealisma


lucha jack: sometimes even luchadors fall victim to painful things like thoughts




silver mask: So longs as i am in this world evil shall not triumph.

lucha jack: shut the fuck up

silver mask: whats wrong bro

lucha jack: im thinking

silver mask: thats not good



*what hidden dark thoughts lie unseen in the mind of lucha?*




lucha jack: time is never ending like the war between the dinosurs and the robots

it could be that niether of them really exits but they represtn opposing sides of the human consoicus

silver mask: thats deep man

lucha jack: i know rite

anyway enough thinking lets fite

silver mask: now that's more like it



lucha jack: sometimes i like to stick my mask down my pants and fart and then put it back on



lucha jack: im no kin to the monkey no no no

[cosbydaf]

[cosbydaf]

Posted: Nov 22 2012

Issue 10: Thanksgiving



lucha jack: ok here is the trukey dig in



el gringo: uh....don't want to be a downer but i don't think this is enough to feed all of us Jack.



lucha jack: of crouse not you idot that is just the apetizer.



lucha jack: Here is the dinner and it's bigger than everone

everone: it is indeed larger than me



Happy Thanksgiving yuo fcuks