Post by cosbydaf on Apr 4, 2013 2:29:22 GMT
I've been reading some self-help books lately, and would like to share some things I've learned;
*Dreading things makes them seem worse than they actually are
*Worrying about things never helps, but taking action can
*Don't be so hard on yourself - we all make mistakes.
*Don't mentally insult yourself, like saying "I'm an idiot/ I can't do this right." Your subconscious listens to these statements, and believes them. Replace them with more positive ones.
*Think of mistakes as learning experiences rather than disasters. Also, if you haven't made any mistakes lately, you should probably try something new.
*Choose your battles wisely - The less squabbles you get into,the better off you'll be -remember that most arguments do nothing but waste energy for all involved.
*Become a better listener - Let people speak what they want to convey to you and don't interrupt them. We all hate being ignored, but we all like being heard.
*Try not to worry too much about what other people think of you. For the most part, people are wrapped up in their own routines anyway.
*Laugh everyday -This will make it easier to get into a positive mindset, and will likely make you feel happier -
*But avoid Schadenfreude - pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. It will hurt you in the long run.
*Don't stress yourself out over things you have no control over.
*Try to see the truth in criticism - even if it is delivered in a rude, hurtful way.
Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
*Let the people you love and appreciate in your life know that you do.
*Try to give a compliment every day. Whether it's to a stranger or a close friend.
*Remember that Anger hurts you, and often the people closest to you. Don't hold onto grudges, try to let things go.
*Being envious does nothing but waste mental energy you could be using to try to gain the things you're envious over.
*Try to be mellow and don't rush yourself - This doesn't mean being lazy or skimping responsibility, but try not to stress yourself, and conserve some time to sit and relax. Being bored for a while can even be good for you.
*Get Involved - Even if you're not entirely pleased with where you are or what you're involved in at the moment, give 100% and try to make the best of it, and see the positives. You may be surprised to find things aren't so bad.
*Remember that you are not your thoughts, or assumptions. If you are troubled by negative thoughts, replace them with good ones. You choose what to think and what to act on, and cultivating positive thoughts is sure to reap better rewards than the alternative.
*Try to create a positive environment, and associate with positive people. Don't hang around with people who make you feel worse, whether it be with insults or constant complaints.
*Try not to fear rejection, but always accept it as a possibility. If you avoid putting yourself out there because you're terrified of being rejected, you become much less likely to get what you're wanting.
*Be humble, and don't concern yourself with being "better" or "worse" than anyone else. In these sorts of comparisons, there is misery.
*Don't be afraid to ask for help
*Use fearful thoughts to your benefit. If you find yourself ridden with anxiety, try to use your mind's ability to torture you with horrible potential situations to think more positively.
Think about how much worse the situation could be. It's important to note the "COULD BE" which is not a "WILL BE". The "worse situation" does not have to be remotely realistic.
Example; If you try to ask someone out and get rejected, think about how glad you are that;
*You're not on FIRE
*You're not in a war zone being shot at
*You aren't starving and unsure when your next meal will be, if ever
*Your body isn't rapidly degenerating into a pile of goop
*You haven't been framed for any horrible crime
*It's very unlikely that you'll be targeted for assassination
*The Earth has not yet been destroyed by nuclear warfare
*You aren't trapped in an endless forest were the Sun never rises, being hunted by giant monsters, and you haven't seen another (living) human in 3 months...
And so on. Try not to focus on these horrors too much though, they're only meant to help you focus on the positive aspects of your current life.
*Be More Compassionate and Less Judgmental
Before you go to criticize someone, or tell them off for doing you wrong, remember that you don't know what they might be dealing with. The person who rudely insulted you might be going through the most painful day of their life.
*Appreciate More and Complain Less
If you spend less time focusing on what's wrong with things, and more on what's good, you're likely to become much happier.
*Being Polite Rarely Hurts, and Being Rude Rarely Helps
*Give More and Expect Less
This might sound like a cheat, I thought so too at first. Why should you give something for nothing? Well, your life will probably improve if you give it a shot. To give an example;
Let's say you have two friends- Buddy Y and Buddy X
Buddy Y doesn't mind doing favors for you when he can, and doesn't keep track of them. If you need a little money or help, he offers it, and doesn't concern much with getting payback. He's not a doormat, but a good friend who's glad just to help out.
Buddy X doesn't do anything for anybody unless he's sure he gets something of equal (or greater) value to what he's giving. He keeps track of everything people owe him and any real or perceived slights against him, and doesn't hesitate to react on it and remind you in a blatant or subtle manner.
Which one would you feel more inclined to appreciate, and offer things to?
And what's more, when you give things without expectation of payback, you'll see just how much you have to give! It doesn't necessarily have to be money or physical labor either,
Look at all the wonders of Nature.
Earth is quite an amazing planet. Whether you interpret this as going for a nice walk in the park, or watching documentaries about animals (a favorite of mine), try to make a habit of getting more in tune with the world around you, and appreciating it's beauty.
I hope all of this helps anyone who reads it!
*Dreading things makes them seem worse than they actually are
*Worrying about things never helps, but taking action can
*Don't be so hard on yourself - we all make mistakes.
*Don't mentally insult yourself, like saying "I'm an idiot/ I can't do this right." Your subconscious listens to these statements, and believes them. Replace them with more positive ones.
*Think of mistakes as learning experiences rather than disasters. Also, if you haven't made any mistakes lately, you should probably try something new.
*Choose your battles wisely - The less squabbles you get into,the better off you'll be -remember that most arguments do nothing but waste energy for all involved.
*Become a better listener - Let people speak what they want to convey to you and don't interrupt them. We all hate being ignored, but we all like being heard.
*Try not to worry too much about what other people think of you. For the most part, people are wrapped up in their own routines anyway.
*Laugh everyday -This will make it easier to get into a positive mindset, and will likely make you feel happier -
*But avoid Schadenfreude - pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. It will hurt you in the long run.
*Don't stress yourself out over things you have no control over.
*Try to see the truth in criticism - even if it is delivered in a rude, hurtful way.
Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
*Let the people you love and appreciate in your life know that you do.
*Try to give a compliment every day. Whether it's to a stranger or a close friend.
*Remember that Anger hurts you, and often the people closest to you. Don't hold onto grudges, try to let things go.
*Being envious does nothing but waste mental energy you could be using to try to gain the things you're envious over.
*Try to be mellow and don't rush yourself - This doesn't mean being lazy or skimping responsibility, but try not to stress yourself, and conserve some time to sit and relax. Being bored for a while can even be good for you.
*Get Involved - Even if you're not entirely pleased with where you are or what you're involved in at the moment, give 100% and try to make the best of it, and see the positives. You may be surprised to find things aren't so bad.
*Remember that you are not your thoughts, or assumptions. If you are troubled by negative thoughts, replace them with good ones. You choose what to think and what to act on, and cultivating positive thoughts is sure to reap better rewards than the alternative.
*Try to create a positive environment, and associate with positive people. Don't hang around with people who make you feel worse, whether it be with insults or constant complaints.
*Try not to fear rejection, but always accept it as a possibility. If you avoid putting yourself out there because you're terrified of being rejected, you become much less likely to get what you're wanting.
*Be humble, and don't concern yourself with being "better" or "worse" than anyone else. In these sorts of comparisons, there is misery.
*Don't be afraid to ask for help
*Use fearful thoughts to your benefit. If you find yourself ridden with anxiety, try to use your mind's ability to torture you with horrible potential situations to think more positively.
Think about how much worse the situation could be. It's important to note the "COULD BE" which is not a "WILL BE". The "worse situation" does not have to be remotely realistic.
Example; If you try to ask someone out and get rejected, think about how glad you are that;
*You're not on FIRE
*You're not in a war zone being shot at
*You aren't starving and unsure when your next meal will be, if ever
*Your body isn't rapidly degenerating into a pile of goop
*You haven't been framed for any horrible crime
*It's very unlikely that you'll be targeted for assassination
*The Earth has not yet been destroyed by nuclear warfare
*You aren't trapped in an endless forest were the Sun never rises, being hunted by giant monsters, and you haven't seen another (living) human in 3 months...
And so on. Try not to focus on these horrors too much though, they're only meant to help you focus on the positive aspects of your current life.
*Be More Compassionate and Less Judgmental
Before you go to criticize someone, or tell them off for doing you wrong, remember that you don't know what they might be dealing with. The person who rudely insulted you might be going through the most painful day of their life.
*Appreciate More and Complain Less
If you spend less time focusing on what's wrong with things, and more on what's good, you're likely to become much happier.
*Being Polite Rarely Hurts, and Being Rude Rarely Helps
*Give More and Expect Less
This might sound like a cheat, I thought so too at first. Why should you give something for nothing? Well, your life will probably improve if you give it a shot. To give an example;
Let's say you have two friends- Buddy Y and Buddy X
Buddy Y doesn't mind doing favors for you when he can, and doesn't keep track of them. If you need a little money or help, he offers it, and doesn't concern much with getting payback. He's not a doormat, but a good friend who's glad just to help out.
Buddy X doesn't do anything for anybody unless he's sure he gets something of equal (or greater) value to what he's giving. He keeps track of everything people owe him and any real or perceived slights against him, and doesn't hesitate to react on it and remind you in a blatant or subtle manner.
Which one would you feel more inclined to appreciate, and offer things to?
And what's more, when you give things without expectation of payback, you'll see just how much you have to give! It doesn't necessarily have to be money or physical labor either,
Look at all the wonders of Nature.
Earth is quite an amazing planet. Whether you interpret this as going for a nice walk in the park, or watching documentaries about animals (a favorite of mine), try to make a habit of getting more in tune with the world around you, and appreciating it's beauty.
I hope all of this helps anyone who reads it!
